You want me to read your vampire novel? Well then, here’s how

1. write a blurb like this:

The Vampire Fred by Vaughn R. Demont

Being a vampire sucks, especially when you’ve got to deal with things like a dead-end job as an office drone, avoiding vigilante vampire slayers on the subway, and being price-gouged on blood from the slaughterhouse. Add in a crush on your annoyingly charismatic sire, and unraveling a little conspiracy to upset the balance of power among the vampires of the City, and it’s all in a night’s work though for fledgling vampire Fred Tompkins, as long as he doesn’t miss out on any overtime.

2. Publish with someone else but Torquere Press, because I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD and they don’t take PayPal. WHY? Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why ?  WHY!?

Really, for God’s sake – not everyone has a credit card. I don’t have one from choice. I had one about 20 years ago, and got myself into debt over it so cut it up, paid it off and vowed to never get another one. Never missed it (other than ordering stuff on Amazon USA) and never wanted one.

Grump. Now I shall have to wait and see if it comes up on Fictionwise, that’s if I don’t forget about in a week or two. Sorry, Mr/Ms Demont! Shame, because I really wanted to read this, and if you know me and vampire stories, you’ll know how rare that is.

Amusing conversation with Dad yesterday.  He’s a real treasure – at 81 and het through and through and after a 50 year long marriage – he finds homosexuality a bit baffling, but he listens intently to me burbling on about plots, and love intrigues and god knows what.  He asked me yesterday “where do you get your inspirations from?” and I was explaining how it was often a chance sentence heard in conversation, or a house, or something i hear on the radio, etc.  Then I went on to tell him about something I’d heard on the TV about a brewery empire which was founded by two men, best friends, who both went on to get married and have a family, but when they died, they left all their worldly goods to each other, rather than their families (which stuffed up the inheritance as you can imagine) and ALSO they were buried together side by side.

Dad said “Well maybe they were more than best friends.”

I nearly died laughing and said “YES!! Now you are thinking like I think! Welcome to the Slash Goggle society.”

Of course then I had to explain slash goggles which baffled him entirely.  I love him.

© Copyright 2009 Erastes, All rights Reserved. Written For: Erastes
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