Sadness and navel gazing

RIP Alexander McQueen.  So much to live for, but the death of a loved mother hits hard – so I can grok.

“Blackguards!” is coming along.  1000 words yesterday – 1000 words today.  made 3000 words so far so you can see how long I’ve been writing it!

I’m being a little jig-saw puzzly about it at the moment while I “get the feel” of it.  Doing random bits to be inserted here and there or the gaps filled in later.

I’m not entirely happy with how it’s going right now- what I need to do is to pluck up the courage to re-read Standish (or at least the parts after Fleury appears) and get back into Fleury’s head.  Perhaps I’ll write some shorts or a novella and start the full sized novel later… Perhaps I’ll feel better when I see what the betas think. They are brutally honest and will tell me if they think it’s … heavy? stolid? DULL?  It’s just not FUN yet.  I suppose i feel that if he immediately starts enjoying himself he didn’t love Ambrose all that much, but then he does need to move on having left Ambrose behind. It’s a puzzlement.   He’s a man who enjoys life and he needs to start cheering up. *kicks him*

However, he’s just ordered himself a rentboy so things aren’t all that gloomy.  Couldn’t find an authentic term for "renter" in 1820 so I’m going with bugger boys. Does exactly what it says on the tin.  I’m planning this to be a lot more sexy than what I’ve been writing recently as Fleury investigates a new country full of handsome young men from all over the world. It’s like letting a kid loose in a sweet shop.  If you know an authentic word for renter btw – please let me know!

cystitis sucks. that’s all i have to say about that. ouch.

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