And we return to our regular programme

Where we have a good old moan about this week’s Game of Thrones.

Gehayi pointed out last week that she thought that last week’s episode didn’t have any scenes in it that were actually in the book and although I meant to go and check I didn’t but I thought to myself “surely that can’t be right?”

This week though it was pretty much the case that almost none of the scenes appeared in the book. The only two I can be certain of are: Theon’s sister arriving at Winterfell and the discovery of the Dragonglass. However because the Beyond the Wall timeline is so fucked up, the obsidian was discovered by Sam and cronies, rather than Ghost and then Jon.

Some of my favourite parts–and surely to goodness, absolutely vital to the plot parts, have been missed out entirely such as: The Soup Coup at Harrenhall and Catelyn’s getting Jaime swear never to raise a hand against Starks again and to rescue her daughters

The episode is called “The Prince of Winterfell” but actually takes very little time in Winterfell. Time enough to have a scene between Theon and his sister Asha Yara(!!!) Greyjoy. Apparantly these names have been changed Asha/Yara, Robbert/Robin because they would confuse the audience. Nice that the company thinks we are load of inbred lint-sucking navel gazers. The scene between Yara and Theon is absoultely ridiculous and all I can think is that GRRM is laughing all the way to the bank to allow his characters to be so radically changed. Asha/Yara is a woman who takes the iron price from her victims, has been harrying the farmers all her life, is twice-born, can play the finger-dance as well as any man and single handedly has the respect of hundreds of Iron-Born. To have her suddenly feeling compassion and love and worse! expressing it! towards Theon “Don’t die, little brother” is absolutely a travesty. She would watch him die with unmoving eyes and then bury him. Or chuck him over the side.

As for Jeyne Westerling/Talis Maegyr – who for reasons entirely bizarre is posing as a Volantian nurse (probably it will turn out she ran away from home or something) I am completely baffled. See Gehayi’s view on this, because she says everything I was going to say and there’s no point me rehashing it.

As she also said, it’s like HBO saw the series was hugely popular, thought they’d buy it and then thought “hey, we can make this even BETTER! And with a lot more nudity!  It seems that EVERYONE in Westeros (and I bet Ygritte has too) has a Brazilian. Why not Vajazzling? That seems very in keeping. I suppose that will be along at some point.

And then there’s Dany, who in episode 7 was dragged kicking and screaming to the House of the Undying. Bizarrely now this didn’t seem to happen and her and Jorah are sauntering around in the sunshine wondering whether she should go to the House or not, endlessly rehashing STUFF THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN AND POINTLESS EVEN IN THIS CONTEXT.

If anyone’s been watching “Episodes”—like me and thinking “surely that doesn’t really go on, Game of Thrones sort of proves the point.

© Copyright 2012 Erastes, All rights Reserved. Written For: Erastes
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