Lost 3 pounds this week, 45pounds in total so far – and it’s finally dropped me down to the lower stone, which is always a boost. This last half a stone has been a real struggle – not eating-wise, that wasn’t tough but the weight went up and down and it’s taken a good two months to shrug it off. All I can put it down to is the tin of Pringles and the two days of wine I had around my birthday and Severus’s dying. But I’m in the next stone down now, and I will NOT pop over up to the higher stone. Considering I have bacon and egg and buttery mushrooms and a pinta tea every morning, a hearty home made veggie soup every lunchtime and belly pork and greens most evenings, it’s not exactly a hardship. I’m never actually hungry and if I feel the need to nibble, there’s always cheese! I’m definitely walking better. It’s SMALL, don’t get the idea I’m striding around like Aragorn, I’m still wobbly and unbalanced, but it is getting a little easier.
Low Carb ROCKS. Don’t know why I disparaged it for so long. I suppose it was hard to believe that eating fat instead of carbs can help you lose weight, but it makes sense when you do the research. As for writing, still haven’t written a word, but the GOOD news – and it’s progress for me – is that I finally got the edited manuscript for “I Knew Him” off to Lethe Press which they were very happy to receie, bless them. It wasn’t a difficult edit, I don’t know why I thought it would be, but OMG such bad habits – adverbitis and “that” every second word. Lethe edit well, thank goodness !
I went to see Dad today for the first time in a couple of weeks and I think I’m done worrying about him. Although he’s aware – e.g. If you ask him “How are you?” He’ll answer coherently “fine ” (he’s one of the only ones there who can speak and be understood) he’s obviously happy in his surroundings – wherever he thinks he is. He still recognises me (I think) and gives me a big smile and a hug but he’s not worried whether I’m there or not, he’ll just wander off after a few minutes and doesn’t come back to where I am. I’m happy that’s he’s settled – and OMG it’s so lovely and WARM there. I want to go and live there for the winter like the people who go to Spain for the winter. I haven’t quite got his finances sorted out yet – they are half done – and I still haven’t (months late) got the Bungalow rented out yet, but I’ll work on those.
The loss of Severus has been a sad time, but with 3 other fuzzies to look after, it helps to numb the pain. They don’t seem to miss him (although who knows what goes through their minds) and the first night I got hold of Lucius and hugged him hard and said that he had to do double shift cuddling in future – and to be frank, he’s done exactly that. He either cuddles me all evening, or he’ll sit next to me on the sofa (which he never did – he used to clear off upstairs and sleep on the bed.) It’s probably just him taking advantage of being the only cat in the house who cuddles, but I like to think he’s looking after me. Sasha is adorable and I love her more every day. She’s SO bright, so willing to learn and eager to please. She’s about as protective as a chocolate fireguard, sadly but hopefully just the look of her would make people think twice. (that is, until she starts to wag at the axe murderer…which she seriously would do…) she always comes to Dad’s nursing home with me and she LOVES it because everyone says hello which is the Best Thing Ever as far as she’s concerned.
I’m feeling more balanced. Probably the pills so I need to talk to the doctor about how I’ll know when I’m better (if ever) but I don’t feel so hermitty, so “what’s the point” – I still feel a little like that, but not 100 percent, which is good.
So, all in all, things are better. Thanks for reading! How are you??
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